How Yoga Taught Me Self-Love

Learning to Live Without Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

When I started my Yoga journey a little over 10 years ago, I had no idea that it would completely change my life. Not just my body, but my whole internal landscape.

Being on my mat allowed me to accept the present moment for what it was and be more patient with myself.

The added benefit was that I had never felt better in my body in my 30 years of life. There were days that I didn’t want to show up, but those were some of the most profound practices. Maybe the ones where I lingered in child’s pose a little longer. Or the ones where a certain song just struck a chord inside of me and made me weep.

My mat was my safe haven. I didn’t compare myself to anyone else or try to change myself. Yoga taught me that I was perfectly imperfect exactly how I was.

So how did Yoga actually teach me to love myself more? Glad you asked…

Movement has always been part of my life. As a dancer, an athlete, and someone who can hardly sit still without moving on to the next thing, Yoga taught me to move more mindfully, sending a signal to my nervous system that it was okay to slow down.

Yoga postures and breathwork activate the parasympathetic nervous system (rest & digest), lowering stress hormones and improving emotional regulation. The calm I would feel in class would carry out into the rest of my day and even my week. I was less reactive and judgmental and more kind to myself. For the first time in my adult life, I was able to regulate my emotions in a healthy way.

Beyond the mat, I was much more present in my relationships and my work. And in true teacher fashion, I would even share the practice with my middle school students! A few minutes of simple breathing exercises would change the whole energy of the classroom.

Moving our body intentionally is a sacred practice of self-respect and self-care. The more I did Yoga, the less I wanted to do anything that would harm my body, including the way I spoke to myself. Therein was the key that unlocked the self-acceptance I needed to truly step into the version of me that was waiting to emerge.

One of the ethical principles (Niyamas) of Yoga is Svadhyaya. Svadhyaya, or self-study, is the practice of turning inward to truly understand ourselves on a deeper level. Through journaling, reading, and noticing our patterns, we begin to witness both the parts of us that we celebrate and the parts we’ve tried to hide. It’s through this honest reflection that real spiritual growth happens.

For me, Svadhyaya revealed that I had been looking outside of myself for fulfillment. I was outsourcing my joy and silencing parts of me to feel more palatable to others. Beneath that was a something even deeper… for much of my life, I felt I had to be “strong.”

When I lost my dad at 17, I learned how to rely on myself and built an identity around being hyper-independent. I carried so much responsibility that I feared what would happen if I ever messed up. I couldn’t fail him, and I couldn’t fail myself. That experience left me with the constant feeling that I could lose control at any moment.

That experience shaped the way my brain and body responded to the world. Neuroscience tells us that when we go through trauma or carry heavy responsibility at a young age, our nervous system adapts to keep us safe. For me, that meant living in a constant state of vigilance always ready for the “other shoe to drop.”

But what I’ve learned is just as our brains are wired for survival, they are also capable of being rewired for love, safety, and worthiness. This is where Yoga and meditation became more than just practices on the mat. They became profound healing tools. The physical postures regulated my nervous system, the breathwork slowed my racing thoughts, and meditation began to quiet the fear-driven patterns that told me I wasn’t enough.

Through the lens of Svadhyaya, I started to notice these patterns rather than be consumed by them. And with practice, I began to rewrite my story. I didn’t have to be “the strong one” all the time, my worth wasn’t tied to perfection, and I could hold myself with compassion instead of criticism.

This is the science of self-love in action. Using the practices of Yoga, meditation, and self-study to rewire not only the mind but the heart, too.

So if you thought Yoga was just a movement practice on a mat, now you know it’s so much more that that. I just wish more people knew it.

I hope to share Yoga as a self-love practice with anyone who is open to it.

And if you’re curious, join me for a free Monday Meditation here.

Thank you for reading.

xo,
Ashley